Self-Care Sunday

Self-Care Sunday

2017 was a whirlwind of a year for many of us. Along with the typical growth and changes we all go through as days, weeks, and months go by, the world around us has also drastically changed. The political climate alone caused great amounts of distress among many individuals. With so many heart-wrenching events occurring, what seems, consecutively, in addition to the daily struggles we encounter, from finances to family, we must remember to find space where we can take care of ourselves.

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"...we must remember to find space

where we can take care of ourselves."

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I’m about to begin my second semester of a three-year master’s program in counseling, and the past semester had been overwhelming. I’m taking a full course load, I work two graduate assistantships in order to pay tuition, and I live with my grandparents (after spending five years on my own in college and post-grad) to make commuting easier. A great part of my program is that they focus heavily on self-care, since in the counseling profession we will be taking on clients that will have heavy and even traumatic experiences that we wouldn’t want to detrimentally affect our lives. In my Mental Health/Mental Illness class, we were advised to create a self-care plan to implement in our weekly routine. I found it extremely helpful, and wanted to share a few things I learned while also giving tips on how you too can fully engage in much needed self-care to manage stress and cultivate mental, physical, and emotional well-being.

1. Set Yourself Up For Success

Your self-care plan can be as simple or ambitious as you like, but choose something you can realistically commit to AT LEAST once a week. If you want to go hard and rock climb once every weekend because you like the rush then by all means, climb as much as your heart desires. But, if the task you choose is something that’ll feel more like a chore added onto your schedule rather than something you look forward to each week, then think about something else that could be helpful.

For example, I initially chose to start each week reading an inspirational quote so I can began on a positive note, take a bubble bath every Sunday, and do some restorative yoga every other night. The inspirational quote task quickly became something I’d easily forget, and my laziness on Sundays was so strong I rarely drew a bath for myself despite how relaxing it’d be.

2. Don’t Get Discouraged

It’s easy to become frustrated or upset when things don’t go the way we planned, and the same goes for a self-care plan. At first the task(s) you choose could feel easy, but then as work and family and friends and everything else in your life that gives you stress piles on, so does that possible guilt you may feel when you’re not following your plan. Your plan may feel like it’s not working out, or you may feel like you’re not completely dedicated to it since there’s other things you have to worry about. But, I encourage you to do the best you can and remember to be gentle with yourself. The self-care plan isn’t so you can feel overwhelmed with that to, but made so that when life feels heavy you have something to fall back on that gives you joy or relaxes you.

Halfway during my own self-care plan I became increasingly frustrated with myself. Between the amounts of homework I was being given, family issues I was being thrust into, and missing my friends from college, nothing seemed to be going right. I’ve also been dealing with depression for three years, and although I’ve been in remission for a few months now the added stressors in my life pushed another episode to appear. My plan wasn’t going the way I wanted it to, but I realized that when certain aspects of my plan weren’t working out, I was replacing them with other things that worked better for me.

3. Be Flexible, Be You.

Instead of reading a motivational quote every week, I ended up watching poetry slams before bed. When I wasn’t taking a bubble bath, I indulged in what is now a full-blown self-care Sunday. Each week I make sure to finish up my homework and run any errands that need to be done so that Sunday can be my day of rest. I’ll sleep in, drink my favorite tea, get some yoga in, watch A Different World, cook my favorite meal, and maybe (always) indulge in some Oreos. This can vary by week (one week

I had a Studio Ghibli marathon all Sunday), but the main point is that I dedicated a whole day to taking care of myself to both end my week on a good note and be ready for what the next week holds.

You don’t have to be like me and clear plans for a whole day, because that doesn’t work for everyone’s lifestyle. But, I encourage you to find that time for yourself and really do the things that allow you to embrace your true self. If your initial plan doesn’t work, there’s nothing wrong with tailoring it to best fit your needs. It’s important to ask yourself, “What do I need?” whether it’s a walk outside or ice cream and Netflix.

Remember, self-care doesn’t have to strictly be bubble baths, nail painting, and retail therapy (though they are quite enjoyable). Self-care can be taking a shower; reading a book; going for a walk; talking to an old friend; separating yourself from a toxic person; reflection; hot chocolate and Netflix; selfies; being completely and unapologetically you.






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Anjé McLish is a blooming activist, driven graduate student, and typical black girl nerd who embraces all things self-care related. Her counseling studies have inspired her to educate the minority population in mental health issues, and especially help others gain multicultural understanding in a diverse world. When she's not engulfed in her studies she's making self-care plans, reading poetry or works of fiction by authors of color, and working on her next yoga pose goal.

IG: @yoga_tapdancer

Guided Relaxation

A few weeks ago I asked my Instagram followers if they struggle with sleep and what methods they use to combat it (shameless plug: @benditlikelacy). Many people I’ve talked with in my personal and professional life have irregular sleep patterns, insomnia, and a hard time slowing down or shutting off their racing thoughts. On the post, I vaguely described a relaxation technique I use in and outside of my yoga classes that relaxes my students. It is an effective way to turn your awareness inwards, whether you intend to fall asleep or find a calmer state of mind. I promised I would make it available for all and I am keeping my word.

“Decide to use this time for yourself. And nothing and no one else.”

           

Relaxing is difficult for most of us. Even when we think we’re relaxed, we often still unconsciously hold tension in parts of our bodies (toes, jaw, shoulders…). Relaxation requires intention and even practice. There are many paths to cultivating a peaceful body and mind; so long as no harm is done, they are valid and critical to your health! There is no disease that cannot be positively affected by stress reduction. In that case, relaxation is more than a luxury; determining your path of access is crucial!

The Guided Relaxation is a combination of a systematic muscle awareness process gleaned during my yoga teacher training and deep breathing exercises. It can be used not only for sleep, but to cultivate a calmer state of being, or as a part of your yoga and meditation practice. You could also just pop in your headphones and use it before a stressful situation, or just to show yourself some love. It’s all up to you. The process begins with asking you to choose yourself over your worries, to-do list, and past and future concerns. I invite you to honor your body and explore your inner world, simply because you are worthy of your time.

Here are some suggestions to help you get started with your relaxation process with intention:

·       Designate a time during your day to use the Relaxation 

undisturbed.

·       Set the mood. Little to no light is useful for increased self-

awareness or sleep. Light music and scents (like lavender or 

peppermint) may also be helpful.

·       Find a comfortable supine (on your back) position so that 

your body has less work to do (although, regardless of being 

seated or standing this is effective!).

·       Prepare your body. Take a warm shower. Remove glasses, 

jewelry, or other accessories that may impede on your comfort.

“This peace, this relaxation, is yours. It always has been. It always will be…”

The recording ends with a reminder that your peace is your power. With time and practice, you will find it easier to return to state of calm, relaxation and balance. Use the link below and comment your experience! 

Happy relaxing, Kala.

Guided Relaxation by Kala Lacy

Written by Kala Lacy

IG @benditlikelacy

Yogis Playlist

Picture this: mountain pose. Feet planted firmly on the mat feeling, rooted. Gaze either focused or eyes closed. Deep breathing. Arms begin to raise above the head stretching towards the heavens.

Panda by Desiigner plays in the background.

Most believe that doing yoga involves a “zen” environment, which includes the type of music that is played. Maybe in the studio the focus is on sounds of nature or melodic instruments, but it’s important to remember each yogi has a different practice, and each practice can come with a different playlist.  Each of us have songs with which our bodies want to move. What I’ve most commonly see is the rise in the number of yogis doing a flow to trap music, indicating that there is no universal sound that yogis move to.

There are days when I need to quiet my mind; these are days when to focus on my breathing and muscles I switch to my “instrumentals” playlist where no words can distract me. Other days when my emotions feel chaotic and I have no way to express them I use rock music as a filter while in High Lunge and Warrior II. Or maybe, as I have now seen quite often with others on Instagram, while in frog I want to incorporate a little booty poppin and Fi Di Jockey by Aidonia happens to work perfectly for me. Yoga not only involves the body and mind, but can hone in on the mentality of the yogi and music accompanies that mentality.

“But isn’t any other kind of music distracting?” I believe that when our bodies and minds are connected to the music that we can feel flow through us, it syncs with our being more than distracts us. One yogi loves playing Gangster by Kehlani while practicing her headstands because the song makes her feel empowered and badass and capable of doing many variations of the pose. And of course, with deviation from the “norm” comes controversy. Some people believe that individual having yoga classes with this different music are just trying to “get publicity” or “seek attention.” Others don’t understand how one could feel at ease or concentrate with any other type of music playing. But, the point of these “trap yoga” classes or “BeyonSLAY” workshops are to connect with others who share the same tastes and mindsets and practice. In the end, it builds on a community that you want to feel part of and in turn offers support and comradery for others.

Written by Anjé McLish

IG @yoga_tapdancer

How to Reignite Your Yoga Practice

           

            It goes something like this: you hesitantly start yoga, unsure of what you’re doing and noticeably awkward in class wondering why you came in the first place, and then time passes. As you make some progress- maybe your first confident Wheel Pose, five-minute meditation, or a successful transition from Crow Pose to Headstand- you’re on fire! Practice is exciting every time you step on the mat. The Sanskrit names, the history, the yogi community, the Instagram challenges; it is exhilarating and your loved ones start begging you to talk about something else for a change.

Then, maybe after a few years or even sooner, the fire dims. It happens slowly but it feels sudden.

Your practice becomes routine or not exciting. Perhaps you’ve plateaued and feel you have reached your best. You think to yourself, “This is the bendiest and the strongest I can achieve.” So now what? In this space, at best, you go through the motions and sequences unmoved and robotic. At worst, yoga becomes a chore and you stop practicing altogether. You’ve become disconnected. How can you reignite the fire of the novice?

           

Firstly, this happens even to the best of us.

I would argue it happens to most of us with a dedicated practice at some point. There are periods of time when a Sun Salutation is the last thing you want to do. Do not be ashamed, you are not alone (even though many of us will not admit it out loud). There are infinite reasons for yogi burnout or boredom. For example, life gets hectic and it’s hard to make time, we suffer an injury, we have a strict routine, or we compare our practice to others.

Whatever the case, a disconnection from our practice is actually a great opportunity!

It is a part of the yogic journey. You are fertile ground for self-discovery. If you notice you have strayed from your mat, this is a time to examine what distracted you in the first place. What is happening internally that is manifesting externally as burnout? This process will look vastly different from person to person. Take your time with this. There are no right or wrong answers and it is never too late to start back up again.

Here are some suggestions for those of us who may be struggling with re-engaging our yogic practices or are simply in need of taking it to the next level. Your practice is perfect for this soul-searching. Here is how you may reawaken your fire.

1.     Congratulate yourself for practicing awareness. Now accept it.

Sure, it sucks. You’ve realized yoga isn’t as fun as it used to be and your practices are progressively becoming less consistent (or have come to a complete halt). This feels like a huge setback physically, mentally, and spiritually, and you may worry that you are far from the flexi-newbie you once were.

However, what is now most important is that you have become aware of a change in your practice and your relationship to it.

There are many who have yet to even acknowledge their disconnection. Bring yourself into the here and now. It is easy to beat yourself up for your practice not looking how it used to, but what does that accomplish?

Look at your present state in all of its perceived imperfections and now… accept it.

You have not practiced in a week, a month, or a few months, or maybe even years. What is your reality? It is what it is. Your awareness prepares you for a space of infinite change. Congratulations. This is a beautiful place to start.

2.     Change of Pace.

Try to change the pace of your practice.

A different speed can potentially transform your relationship to each movement and, consequently, each posture (and therefore, your entire practice!).

If you tend to move faster in your practice, move slowly. Focus on each muscle that is engaged. Take deeper breaths. Spend more time with the sensations you feel. Instead of ignoring that hip that is asking you to back off, listen to it. Slow down.

            On the other hand, if you tend to stick to slower paced flows, experiment with speeding it up! Challenge yourself to create heat in the body. What does it take to break you into a sweat? Pay attention to that climatic release that comes after preserving through an intense practice.

            Practice at a different time of the day. Try a new class, a new studio, or practice at home. Practice alone or with a group of friends. Experiment with a different school of yoga like kundalini, Bikram, ashtanga, or hot yoga. Take a chance on a class you think you would not enjoy. Switch it up!

3.     Embrace the Tension.

Maybe one of the reasons you have been avoiding the mat is because you are anticipating the tension that awaits you there. If you have not stretched in a while, chances are your muscles may be a bit stiffer, your joints a bit creakier, and your mind a bit more distracted by the fact that this was not how you used to be. It is a blow to the ego.

            Here we are reminded why awareness and acceptance are so critical for our practice (and our lives in general!).

Instead of feeling defeated by a back that won’t bend as much as it used to, search for the lessons in the tension.

Is your stiff back a parallel to how you’ve become more rigid off of the mat? Are your tense shoulders a symptom of the heavy burdens you are carrying? Your body is a manifestation of the mind and spirit. So what exactly is going on up and in there?

4.     Progress.

Many of us catalogue our process and progress when we begin our yoga journey. If you gave me some time I could search through my computer’s photos and produce the evolution of almost every posture I have worked on. While this could be misconstrued as vain or egotistical, I think it is actually very useful and important for us to notate our journey. It shows us how far we have come.

If your practice is anything like mine, usually my greatest breakthroughs on the mat (like my feet FINALLY touching my head in forearm stand) is a mirror of a breakthrough I have had outside of my asana practice (learning to let go and enjoy where I am presently).

            So mark this new journey! You have decided to reignite the fire and it is important to give it the credit it deserves. Maybe a journal will be useful for you to express what your practice felt like today and what emotional, cognitive, or spiritual experiences came up for you. Or, like many of us in 2017, Instagram or a blog can be an exciting tool to crystalize your journey. Create your own hashtag of your progress for you to return to easily at any time (mine, for example, is #lacyprogress). It’s that simple! It does not have to be for anyone but you (but the interaction and support from others can be nice).

5.     Set Intentions.

It is common to attend a yoga class and the instructor invite you to set an intention for your practice. An intention is a goal or a plan that you feel is useful for your body, mind, and spirit at that given moment.

This is important because sometimes we need a concrete focus.

An intention can keep us grounded as we move through our practice and motivate us when we find ourselves challenged. They are incredibly useful and personal. An intention can be whatever you need. Maybe your aim for your practice can be to remain present, to feel peace, or to experiment with a posture you find scary. This internal promise can be just what we need to manifest our desires.

However, for those of us who are strict high achievers (guilty), not reaching our goals can be devastating. Beware of getting so attached to an intention that it overshadows what is actually most important- the journey there. Cliché, I know. But it is in the journey towards the goal that we find the lessons and love that we need. So, if you find yourself distracted when your intention was to be present- THAT IS OKAY. What is much more useful is to then meditate on why you found yourself wandering. If you end up backing away from that scary posture you intended on trying- THAT IS OKAY. What is it about the posture that intimidates you? Whatever the outcome, there is a lesson to be learned. If you achieved your goal, awesome! What worked for you? If you did not, awesome! What do you think would help you next time?

6.     Integrate Meditation.

If you do not practice mediation, I strongly encourage you to try it. I could talk all day long about its benefits and importance for a healthy body, mind, and spirit.

In short, meditation can help clear your head of the static that is keeping you from your truths.

If you are having difficulty understanding why you have disconnected from your asana (poses) practice, meditation is just the cure. It can be incredibly intimidating to start if you have never practiced, and intimidating to restart if you have become irregular. To be frank, you must decide it is worth it. The tools offered here, considering your pace, embracing tension, tracking your progress, and setting intentions, can also be applied to your dhyana (meditation) practice. You can find introductory information here.

            It can be tough to reignite the fire once it has dimmed or burnt out. There are a hundred reasons why you may feel discouraged or not want to risk trying to bring back the flame. But I promise you there are a thousand reasons and benefits of why you should search for that glow and warmth once again (because, yes, I promise it is still there no matter how long it has been). Some of these suggestions will help kick start the process and some may not quite be what you need. Or maybe you need them all! What is beautiful is that no one will know but you.

Try these suggestions out yourself and share with anyone you feel may be stuck or stopped in their journey! Comment below to share your progress.

Written by Kala Lacy

IG @benditlikelacy