Self-Care Sunday
2017 was a whirlwind of a year for many of us. Along
with the typical growth and changes we all go through as days, weeks, and
months go by, the world around us has also drastically changed. The political
climate alone caused great amounts of distress among many individuals. With
so many heart-wrenching events occurring, what seems, consecutively, in addition to the daily struggles we encounter, from finances to family, we must remember to find space where we can take care of ourselves.
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"...we must remember to find space
where we can take care of ourselves."
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I’m about to begin my second semester of a three-year
master’s program in counseling, and the past semester had been overwhelming.
I’m taking a full course load, I work two graduate assistantships in order to
pay tuition, and I live with my grandparents (after spending five years on my
own in college and post-grad) to make commuting easier. A great part of my
program is that they focus heavily on self-care, since in the counseling
profession we will be taking on clients that will have heavy and even traumatic
experiences that we wouldn’t want to detrimentally affect our lives. In my
Mental Health/Mental Illness class, we were advised to create a self-care plan
to implement in our weekly routine. I found it extremely helpful, and wanted to
share a few things I learned while also giving tips on how you too can fully
engage in much needed self-care to manage stress and cultivate mental,
physical, and emotional well-being.
1. Set Yourself Up For Success
Your self-care plan can be as simple or ambitious as you
like, but choose something you can realistically commit to AT LEAST once a
week. If you want to go hard and rock climb once every weekend because you like
the rush then by all means, climb as much as your heart desires. But, if the
task you choose is something that’ll feel more like a chore added onto your
schedule rather than something you look forward to each week, then think about
something else that could be helpful.
For example, I initially chose to start each week reading an
inspirational quote so I can began on a positive note, take a bubble bath every
Sunday, and do some restorative yoga every other night. The inspirational quote
task quickly became something I’d easily forget, and my laziness on Sundays was
so strong I rarely drew a bath for myself despite how relaxing it’d be.2. Don’t Get Discouraged
It’s easy to become frustrated or upset when things don’t go
the way we planned, and the same goes for a self-care plan. At first the
task(s) you choose could feel easy, but then as work and family and friends and
everything else in your life that gives you stress piles on, so does that
possible guilt you may feel when you’re not following your plan. Your plan may
feel like it’s not working out, or you may feel like you’re not completely
dedicated to it since there’s other things you have to worry about. But, I
encourage you to do the best you can and remember to be gentle with yourself.
The self-care plan isn’t so you can feel overwhelmed with that to, but made so
that when life feels heavy you have something to fall back on that gives you
joy or relaxes you.
Halfway during my own self-care plan I became increasingly
frustrated with myself. Between the amounts of homework I was being given,
family issues I was being thrust into, and missing my friends from college,
nothing seemed to be going right. I’ve also been dealing with depression for
three years, and although I’ve been in remission for a few months now the added
stressors in my life pushed another episode to appear. My plan wasn’t going the
way I wanted it to, but I realized that when certain aspects of my plan weren’t
working out, I was replacing them with other things that worked better for me.
3. Be Flexible, Be You.
Instead of reading a motivational quote every week, I ended
up watching poetry slams before bed. When I wasn’t taking a bubble bath, I
indulged in what is now a full-blown self-care Sunday. Each week I make sure to
finish up my homework and run any errands that need to be done so that Sunday
can be my day of rest. I’ll sleep in, drink my favorite tea, get some yoga in,
watch A Different World, cook my
favorite meal, and maybe (always) indulge in some Oreos. This can vary by week
(one week
I had a Studio Ghibli marathon all Sunday), but the main point is
that I dedicated a whole day to taking care of myself to both end my week on a
good note and be ready for what the next week holds.
You don’t have to be like me and clear plans for a whole
day, because that doesn’t work for everyone’s lifestyle. But, I encourage you
to find that time for yourself and really do the things that allow you to
embrace your true self. If your initial plan doesn’t work, there’s nothing
wrong with tailoring it to best fit your needs. It’s important to ask yourself,
“What do I need?” whether it’s a walk outside or ice cream and Netflix.
Remember, self-care doesn’t have to strictly be bubble
baths, nail painting, and retail therapy (though they are quite enjoyable).
Self-care can be taking a shower; reading a book; going for a walk; talking to
an old friend; separating yourself from a toxic person; reflection; hot
chocolate and Netflix; selfies; being completely and unapologetically you.
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Anjé McLish is a blooming activist, driven graduate student, and typical black girl nerd who embraces all things self-care related. Her counseling studies have inspired her to educate the minority population in mental health issues, and especially help others gain multicultural understanding in a diverse world. When she's not engulfed in her studies she's making self-care plans, reading poetry or works of fiction by authors of color, and working on her next yoga pose goal.
IG: @yoga_tapdancer
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IG: @yoga_tapdancer
